


The Animal Within

by Skellington24



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Social Anxiety, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-10-31
Packaged: 2019-07-05 22:33:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skellington24/pseuds/Skellington24
Summary: AU -Remus joins Hogwarts at the start of his sixth year, as a boy socially inexperienced who's never had friends but is eager to make them. Lily is the first, and she introduces him to Severus Snape. But there's a boy with his friends. He's a prick, he's a bully, he plays pranks on unsuspecting victims. But he's also gorgeous, and the monster in Remus agrees with that, testing his control. What could go wrong?





	1. Chapter 1

Remus couldn’t help the nervous shivers that ran through him as he paced the unfamiliar corridor outside Professor Dumbledore’s office, waiting to be called in by his parents so his anxiety would reduce. His poor muggle parents, who had been trying to ignore magic since it had shown up in Remus, and who were now sitting in the Headmaster’s office, in a magical school for witches and wizards. Remus was actually proud of how well they were taking it. He frequently pinched himself, trying to prevent his excitement rising as he thought he’d finally done it, finally convinced them to let him come.

For the past six years, they’d been too worried to let him out his front door, let alone to an enclosed school surrounded by other people. When Remus was five years old, his parents had taken him on a family hiking trip in the huge forest near where he lived. Foolishly, he’d crept out of their tent one night to hunt for fairies or something else magical, and got lost. Being five years old, he didn’t know what he could do other than cry, but that only made his situation worse. The noise attracted the attention of a werewolf, who apparently seemed to think his shoulder looked rather tasty because there was a huge scar in a mouth crescent shape there. If it hadn’t of been for his wizard magic, which caused a thick tree branch to break off and slam into the werewolf’s face, making it flee, he’d have died right there. Sometimes he wished he had, it probably would have been better than the pain he went through every night the full moon was high in the sky, or the fact that he'd left his basement bedroom possibly five times in the past 11 years.

Since then though, his parents never let him out of their sight, worrying about what would happen if someone found out what he’d become. They’d found him a wizard tutor to visit his basement daily, so he’d still been learning how to control and use his magic, and the 24/7 attention meant he was now skilled in every aspect he’d been taught. Obviously, that didn’t include flying, which was because his parents had forbidden it, and his basement ceiling wasn’t high enough. The only reason they were giving in to Remus’ plea to let him do his N.E.W.Ts at Hogwarts was that he’d shown them how well he could control his ‘condition’ and promised that he’d keep it a secret. And that’s why he was there, that Tuesday morning on the 2nd of September, a day he'd always remember no matter how it went from here.

The click of a door opening drew Remus’ attention and peaked his nerves, and his mother poked her head around the door, informing him the Headmaster now wanted to talk to him. Remus nodded, making sure his tatty old suit looked as presentable as he could make it before he entered Dumbledore’s office. He felt terrible for meeting a high-power person in a second-hand, grubby suit, but his parents couldn't afford any better.

The old man was sitting behind a large wooden desk, talking to a beautiful, exotic-looking bird, who was perched on a stand by his side. Remus complimented Professor Dumbledore on his beautiful Phoenix, hoping his knowledge and politeness would sway the Headmaster into accepting him into the school. Maybe distract him from the tatty clothes and scarred face.

“No need for compliments Mr Lupin, seen as I never bothered much with first impressions,” Dumbledore rasped wisely. “After speaking with your parents, I feel further inclined to let you stay at Hogwarts for your N.E.W.Ts.”

Remus beamed, rushing right over to shake his new Headmaster’s hand, and thank him at least five times before finally letting go of his hand. Professor Dumbledore merely laughed and instructed him to retrieve a tattered old hat off a shelf just high enough for Remus to reach. Having read all about Hogwarts before he came, he knew just what to expect as the hat was lowered onto his head.

 _Ahh, right now,_ it said from inside his head, _let me think about you. I sense intelligence, a good match for Ravenclaw, but also courage that I must congratulate you on considering your…condition. Oh, there's something to fit you in every house I see, but I sense more of one than the others._

“Gryffindor” it announced to Dumbledore, before falling silent on Remus’ head.

“Well then, it’s settled,” Dumbledore grinned, flicking his wand at Remus’ clothes.

In an instant, Remus’ suit turned into a set of black school robes. Around his neck, was a silky, scarlet tie, with golden stripes across it. His shoes were black and polished, obviously new, and he briefly worried how his parents were going to afford his little makeover. That was until Dumbledore informed his parents they didn’t have to worry about paying for it, that it was his welcome gift to Remus. Dumbledore wrote a quick note and gave it to Fawkes for a girl named Lily. The bird left swiftly and elegantly.

“Excuse me Professor, but I was wondering where you wanted me to go this weekend, for my…change.”

“Ah yes, I apologise, it slipped my mind,” he smiled. “I’ll have Hagrid meet you at 7 o’clock by the Whomping Willow, he’ll lead you where you need to go with your…equipment.”

This made Remus feel better now he knew there was a plan for the weekend. It sucked to have to change on his birthday when he would have wanted to spend it with friends. If he made any in five days.

There was a firm knock on the door, and a young girl came in. She looked like she could be in his year, or perhaps the year above. She was pretty, she had eyes that were green like springtime and bright red hair. Remus knew she was trying to hide her reaction, but her eyes widened when she looked at his face. The scars usually got that reaction, so Remus didn't find it rude. Just natural.

“Mr Lupin, this is Lily Evans. She is also a sixth year Gryffindor.” He smiled, "Lily, I asked you here to show Remus to the dormitories and to his first lesson. I believe you both have Potions for the first two lessons this morning."

“Of course, sir,” she nodded, gesturing for Remus to leave with her.

Remus nodded, satisfied that he was now ready to start his academic years at Hogwarts. Lily seemed friendly enough to be his first friend. He followed her out of the Headmaster’s office and headed up one of the many hallways. She didn't start a conversation immediately, so Remus took that as a cue to walk silently.

"Is it rude to ask why you're joining the school with only two years to go?"

Remus tried not to be fazed by the question. He knew it would come eventually today, but this was the first thing Lily would know about him and she might care about first impressions. He resited the excuse he'd practised about his social anxiety holding him back slightly, and how he was more under control so he was allowed to attend school. It was half the truth. Lily didn't need to know his nerves came from years in a dark basement only interacting with three people making it hard to handle the outside world. Remus wasn't neglected, or physically abused, or anything scary like that. He knew his parents loved him as much as life, they were just scared and he bore the brunt of that. He was scared too, knowing there were monster instincts in him that he had to control. But that was easy after 11 years.

Lily mistook his silence as part of his anxiety and he wasn't going to correct her. She started asking him about lessons, which ones he'd taken and how his O.W.Ls had gone. He felt more comfortable in this subject. He hadn't gotten below an Acceptable and had taken most subjects that schools offered. He had loads of time on his hands with his tutor, so he was good with all 12 subjects he'd studied. Lily seemed impressed but was of a similar level. They could definitely have intellectual conversations.

"We take most of the same N.E.W.Ts. Potions, Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Arithmancy and Care of Magical Creatures. But I take Muggle Studies and Ancient Runes. You take-"

"Herbology and Charms."

She promised him that she knew people who were nice enough who took those subjects, so she offered to introduce him to them in the Common Room. Remus accepted, wanting all the help possible when it came to making friends. He hadn't noticed how far they'd gone until he was on the staircase outside their House area, Gryffindor Tower. Lily asked if he was ready to go in, as it might be a bit busy. Remus just linked their arms, saying he'd be fine as long as there was someone he knew, which was her. She smiled and opened the entrance, letting noise vent out and choke him slightly.


	2. Chapter 2

Some people stared as they came in, but Lily shut them down with a look. She walked Remus to a corner table with two other girls and introduced him. Alice did Herbology with him and their friend Amelia did Charms. The girls looked at Remus in shocked concern, but Amelia was the one to ask about the face. He shaved the truth again by telling them it was an animal attack when he was five.

"Poor you," Alice frowned. She reached over and took his hand. "If anyone says anything about them, we'll get Lily to hex them."

Lily nodded, which made him chuckle. She insisted that the three of them were the only academically focused Gryffindors in their year, so they were Remus' kind of people. Amelia took the next moment to warn him that if he got into a relationship with Lily then he'd be bullied by James and his friends like her friend Severus Snape.

"Wow, why? Is he a jealous ex or something?" Remus laughed. "Well, firstly you don't have to fear, I'm not really into girls. In a gay way, not an 'I'm focusing on other things' way. And secondly, this James guy needs to move on with his life."

The three girls giggled, seeming more comfortable. Remus would have considered that weirdly obnoxious like he was trying to get with them just because he was a guy. But he figured that that wasn't it because they seemed like genuinely nice girls. Lily wrapped an arm around him from the side.

"Hey. Are you not going to introduce the new guy?"

Remus turned to look across the table to where three boys stood just behind the other girls. One had very messy black hair and glasses that shone over hazel eyes. He was relatively handsome, with a very attractive build, but the way his eyes never left Lily told Remus all he needed to know about that. On that boy’s left stood a tubby sandy blond haired boy, who merely looked at Remus as if he were unsure whether he should stare or not. And finally, on the right was another black-haired boy, this one more gorgeous than the other two, with grey eyes that seemed to stare right into Remus, but the confused intrigue in those eyes told Remus that he must have been the boy that asked the question.

"These are the assholes that bully Sev if you needed clarification." Lily scowled, keeping her arm around Remus.

The middle guy smiled, "Lily, we don't bully him. We pull pranks on everyone. And we only wanted to greet the new meat, seen as 'Remus Lupin' was added to the names on our dorm room door."

That didn't sound very fun to him, but Remus wasn't going to argue with them. That would just be asking for them to ruin his two years there, and the wolf can get more control when he's angry. He tried to be polite as he introduced himself. If his parents could teach him something, it was manners when in an uncomfortable environment. Remus excused himself from Lily to go up to his dorm and get his Potions book and peeled away from the small group. Hopefully Lily would be warning them off picking on Remus. He could stand up for himself, but that might not go so well for them.

He found the room easily. There were four beds in the room, three messy from sleep and one neat from never being used. His new school trunk was at the foot of his bed, and there were a timetable and a satchel on his pillows. Lily was right about the lessons he had today. Double Potions before lunch, then Care of Magical Creatures and Herbology and Charms. Most of his day was with Lily, and with lunch offering the chance to know Alice and Amelia better means he'll hopefully be okay in those classes. He heard the door and turned to see the attractive guy of that group.

"Lily said I could walk you to Potions if I was nice. Something about anxiety and making friends." He smiled. It was the kind of smile that came off flirty, though he probably didn't mean it.

"So are you offering to be my friend?" Remus raised an eyebrow and turned back to his things, taking the relevant books from his trunk to put in his satchel.

Then the hairs straightened on the back of his neck and he tensed. The guy was coming closer, and his scent was continuing so close it was all around Remus. He pointed out that Lily happened to mention he was into guys, and being roommates gave them the advantage to use for fun. Remus stated firmly he wasn't interested, but the other boy just chuckled.

"I knew she was lying. Trying to get us to leave you alone because you fancy her. Guess I'll be busy thinking of fun pranks to pull on you."

Something shoved against Remus' shoulder, rough enough to make him wobble slightly. Even if he'd had perfect control of his emotions, nothing could have stopped his monster if it came out to play. So what else could he do but turn round and slam the unsuspecting boy against the nearest bedpost? The confidence disappeared at the sight of Remus' anger, which just satisfied him more.

"So I'm not gay because I don't want meaningless sex with someone who throws himself at strangers like a whore? Why don't you get the fuck over yourself?" He growled. "I can only assume that's why those other two hang out with you since they sent you up here for proof like pimps. You can report back that skanks aren't my style, and that if bullying Lily's friends are their flirting techniques, then no wonder she's still single. Now stay the fuck away from me."

Grabbing his satchel and leaving was the only alternative to actually hitting the guy. Remus was shaking with rage as he left, but his mood improved when he saw the other two were gone. He guessed they had faith that their friend would get lucky. Lily was still waiting with her friends, and they asked if Sirius was nice to him. His voice was tight as he replied that whoever the guy was wasn't nice. Remus asked if they were walking to Potions now because he was anxious to be there with enough time. Though he really just wanted to get going before 'Sirius' came back downstairs. What kind of name was 'Sirius' anyway?

The girls packed up and walked with him, providing a distraction when he noticed Sirius' friends outside the portrait. Otherwise, he might have started a fight with them too. But the girls kept up the conversation, which was fine by him. Remus was actually proud of how well he'd handled his temper when his inner animal wanted to eat that guy for breakfast and shit him out again. Feeling in control of the monster curbed the edge of his anxiety.

"Oh Sev, this is Remus. He's new, and James is picking on him. Now you have something in common."

The boy Lily spoke to looked poor too. His Slytherin robes were second-hand, and his hair was slick and greasy. He had stains from potions on his fingers, but he didn't seem to care what he looked like. He gave him an analysing look, but Remus smiled. He seemed comfortable, but he didn't speak to anyone but Lily. Remus was the same when he first got there, so he didn't want to judge him on it. But he'd been there long enough it was weird he didn't speak to the other girls.

When we reached the classroom, Lily offered to work with Remus. She explained that Severus didn't work well with others, so worked alone at his bench, and the other two would share together. Remus agreed and followed her to a bench at the back with his shrunken cauldron before returning it to its natural size wordlessly. This impressed the professor, who started quizzing him on Potions. Remus seemed to impress, he did get an O in his Potion O.W.Ls after all. Severus seemed to warm to him a little after that.

Then a loud group drew his attention and the three douches from before came in. The one with glasses and the sandy blonde were laughing at the other one. Sirius something. He looked confused. His eyes went straight to Remus, and he looked away. Remus was slightly embarrassed now he knew Sirius had told his friends, but then that made him angrier. He pointed out that the one in glasses was heading for her friend and she apologised. She went to stand with him. The other guy walked away. She looked at Remus and he smiled. She relaxed. Then scowled behind him, as Sirius came to stand beside him with his things. Great. This lesson would be fun.


	3. Chapter 3

Remus wanted to look to Lily for support. This must have been a ploy, getting his friends to go near Severus so Lily would leave his side. Without a bench partner, Sirius could take her place and bug him until he ripped him apart. Remus could only hope pointlessly that the asshole wouldn't bring up what he'd said in the dorm room.

"Hey, best friend," Sirius smirked. "Don't mind working next to me, do you?"

It was hard, but Remus didn't respond. The professor instructed them to start making a Draught of Sleeping Death. It was a potion Remus had already tried, and it had turned out pretty well, with small variations. It would go well if he wasn't being continually distracted. But from what he'd heard from Lily, that wasn't the kind of person sitting next to him. But he thought he could brave through it.

"I want to apologise for 'throwing myself at a stranger like a whore'. It was a favour for my friends, as they can't flirt and I'm better looking. I'll have you know, that if you'd accepted the offer I wouldn't have gone through with it. I'm actually not as much of a skank as you think I am."

"Apology accepted." Remus drawled, "I'm working, so if you mean your apology you can start by not distracting me."

He remarked how Remus was asking a lot of him when they weren't properly friends yet. They smiled to each other, which was ruined when Sirius questioned the scars across his face. He gave the same excuses. But his mood took a negative turn.

"Jesus, are you half finished already?" Sirius frowned, "you're like Snivellus, I'm slightly less attracted to you now."

Remus asked who he was talking about and followed his gaze to Lily. She was getting some help from Severus. It reminded him that he was standing next to a bully. That also didn't improve his mood with the boy next to him. Sirius asked how much Lily had said about his friends and him.

"Well, I'm Sirius Black. Four-eyes over there is James Potter and the dim blonde is Peter Pettigrew." He grinned, "we're troublemakers. We live to prank others, not just the grease-monkey over there. He just gets the worst ones."

"Why do you bully him? Just because James is jealous?"

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I'm immature, but I'm not a fucking child. If he just fancied Lily and treated her right, James would just live with his loneliness. But Snivellus doesn't defend her to his blood-purist house or help her when they try to hurt her. I remember they had an argument and he called her a mudblood.

"So he doesn't deserve her but won't let her be happy with anyone else. She went on a date with a Hufflepuff last year and he ignored her for weeks, calling her a slut. I don't get why she puts up with him."

This was different. Remus hadn't heard any of this from Lily, but she probably didn't want to turn him against the guy before he got to know him. There must have been some reason she still hung out with him. Then Remus considered Sirius might not be telling the truth. He'd have to ask Alice or Amelia, so he could avoid pissing Lily off if it was not true. But Remus wanted to believe Sirius, he wanted to get along with his new roommate for some reason.

Then Lily bounded up to them and demanded to know if Sirius had done something. Both Remus and Sirius looked up at her in confusion, then Sirius shrugged. He raised his hands and used me as a witness that we were just talking, nothing had been done. Her scowl deepened as she asked if it was Sirius who poured ink in her friend's hair until we heard sniggering somewhere behind us. James was trying to keep a straight face and Peter had a hand over his mouth. It became clear who the culprits were.

"Oi you bastards, don't get me into trouble for that shit." Sirius chuckled, "I'm still injured from the last time she hit me."

James stood, confessing his guilt and offering to take whatever punishment she dealt out. Remus looked for Professor Slughorn, but he wasn't anywhere to be seen. Lily stormed past them to James, who didn't move an inch. He didn't look over-confident like he knew he could take her down to defend himself, his gaze just followed her fondly. It wasn't something Remus had anticipated. He had assumed James' attraction to Lily was physical and territorial, the 'thrill-of-the-chase'. But he could see that it was genuine admiration, maybe even love, that the boy felt towards her. It made him like the guy a little more.

"Do you think I won't hit you just because Slughorn's in the storage cupboard?" She glared.

"I have no doubt that his presence would stop you doing anything you set your mind to," the spectacled boy purred. "You're too strong-willed."

It was a compliment, no other way to see it. Lily's cheeks flushed slightly, but her stance remained the same. It suddenly because clear to Remus that Lily liked James. Maybe as much as he liked her, but she was holding herself back for some reason. Remus guessed that reason was sat at his bench silently brewing his potion. He didn't seem to care that Lily was sticking up for him, which looked ungrateful to Remus. He was starting to like that kid less with every passing minute.

Then Slughorn returned and requested everyone go back to their seats. Remus provided a distraction by asking the professor to look at his finished potion.  A red feather was dropped into the centre, and it disintegrated into the cauldron. Perfect, he'd called it. After cleaning up his cauldron, Remus started helping Sirius, not that he'd asked, but it kept the young wolf distracted. For a reason Remus couldn't fathom, the other boy kept watching his hands when he prepared ingredients. Or staring at his face when he was trying to concentrate on stirs.

"What are you staring at? It's starting to bother me."

Sirius just smiled, "I don't know quite what it is, but there's something about you I like. I'm going to love being your roommate Remus, we can get to know each other very well."


	4. Chapter 4

Remus hated to think he was being shady. Some might think that going behind Lily's back and talking to her friends about Severus Snape was shady, but Amelia and Alice were more likely to give him unbias answers. In Herbology with Alice, she confirmed what Sirius said about ignoring her after she went on a date to Hogsmeade, and the time he called her a mudblood, but she couldn't comment on the Slytherins. They weren't the kinds of people she enjoyed spending time with, not that any of them bothered to notice her existence. He was considering that part might have been an exaggeration until Charms. Remus was asking Amelia, but before she could give an answer he overheard it.

"Why do you put up with filth like that?" A Slytherin was saying to Snape two rows away. "Muggles and mudbloods are filth, Severus. Bathing in mud attracts the wrong attention."

Remus hoped he'd defend her aggressively, but he was stunned at Severus' weak response. "Regulus, she keeps those Gryffindor creeps away from me. Just drop the topic already, it's my business."

That was all he'd needed to hear. Remus didn't condone bullying, but he agreed that that kid didn't deserve someone as wonderful as Lily in his life. It wasn't his place to tell Lily he was a waste of space asshole, but he still wanted to do something. He remembered the impression Lily gave him during her argument with James. He'd bring it up, because if it was true then he wanted her to be happy. And it would get rid of the scum, two birds with one stone. Remus had known her for less than 12 hours, but he knew he could be persuasive.

He sat beside her at dinner, and Sirius forced his way into a spot across from him. James got the one across from Lily. She tried not to listen to his conversation with Sirius, but she giggled now and then, and it wasn't anything Remus said. James asked her if she understood the homework they'd been given in Muggle Studies. She tried to look annoyed as she explained it, but Remus was starting to see through the cracks. Lily finished eating before him but waited for Remus before they headed off to the dorms together. Except he pulled her into an empty room when he was sure nobody was around.

"Woah, okay Remus, no need to pull so hard. What's up?"

"I don't know how to ease into this, so I'm just gonna say it, okay?" She nodded, which Remus found encouraging. "Earlier in Potions, when you were squaring up to James, I thought I noticed something. And I've been seeing it all day. I think you like him back, and I know I'm probably just talking about stuff I have no right to, but I think you should give him a chance. Otherwise, he might end up being your biggest regret."

She thanked him for the concern, but she wasn't going to date someone who treated her friends badly. Remus pointed out their politeness to everyone but one friend, and after hearing how he spoke about her in Charms he didn't think Snape was worth damaging her happiness. She asked what he meant, and he explained what he'd heard between the two Slytherins. She didn't look surprised but her eye crinkled in rage.

"Look, the point I'm making is that I can see how much James likes you. I see it in the way he looks at you, and his tone when he talks to you, it's adorable. I think if you let yourself be with him, he wouldn't need to bully Snape, because he wouldn't need to worry about Snape breaking your heart. And if Snape isn't grateful and happy for you, if he ignores and insults you, then he doesn't deserve your friendship. And you'll still have us as friends."

She looked down and blushed. She admitted it wasn't something she'd ever thought about seriously, so these weren't things she'd considered. But now Lily was thinking, she was agreeing with the points Remus made. He told her to consider it, think it over tonight and sleep on it, so if she still saw the merits in the morning it was worth talking to James about. They could always gossip after that.

Lily giggled, "Thank you, Remus. I know Alice and Amelia think about him that way, but knowing where Sev comes from makes me feel sorry for him. But there's only so much I can sacrifice for his happiness. Thanks for talking me into this."

Remus grinned. They exited the classroom smiling like idiots, and their moods didn't darken on the way to the dorm. Their friends gave them confused looks for being last in when they were first to leave the Great Hall. Lily left Remus to deal with them, kissing his cheek before heading up the stairs to the girls' dorm. The other two girls followed her with stunned expressions and Remus was faced with three less-than-pleased boys. Sirius looked jealous and grumpy, James looked sad but he was braving it out, and Peter just looked a little angry.

"Whatever you're thinking, you're wrong." Remus grinned, "you can thank me in the morning if it goes the way I think it will."

He ignored their confused looks and headed up to the dorm. Luckily he had his pyjama top on before they all opened the door, hiding the scars from view. Being chained up wasn't fun for his werewolf self, so he clawed himself in frustration. They were mostly healed by the time he regained consciousness but they were pretty big. The boys asked what Remus was talking about, but the brunette just laughed about confidentiality among friends. Lily would talk when she was ready. James and Peter went about their business, but Sirius continued to frown at Remus.

He questioned what the other boy's problem was, and they blushed. Sirius came towards him and whispered in his ear that seeing Lily kiss him made him jealous. He hadn't kissed Remus at all, so he didn't find it fair. The brunette just laughed, offering more than a kiss on the cheek if they still liked each other when they were more than strangers. This seemed to satisfy Sirius, so Remus got into his bed and closed the bed curtains. He read about how soft the sheets at Hogwarts were, but it truly felt like laying on clouds. He'd never been able to afford luxury comfort like this, but the sensation of laying there relaxed him so quickly he was asleep in seconds. He dreamt of happy things, like James and Lily working it out, and that 'more than a kiss on the cheek' with Mr Black in the bed next to his.


	5. Chapter 5

Remus woke to a quiet room. There was the light sound of snoring from one of the others. Peter, if his ears were on the right point. Nobody sounded close to waking, but they had a couple of hours before they needed to. Remus wasn't much of a sleeper, nightmares came every night about the things his wolf can do others. The horrifying images of blood and horror he could never escape from. That was another part of his curse he was used to.

He showered and dressed before they started to turn. The quiet was isolating and it made Remus feel like a caged animal. He planned to wait for Lily in the Common Room to hear her verdict on James. But after all their talk of pranks, Remus wanted to join in. He wanted to play a prank on the pranksters and impress them. Show them he had talent. So he bewitched James' glasses to change their prescription every minute, and he charmed Sirius' hairbrush to turn his hair grey. Peter was more of a problem. Remus didn't know much about him, he was too quiet to give much away. So Remus cast a spell that made him speak in rhyme whenever he spoke.

He headed down the stairs and sat in an armchair to read. He hoped his day wouldn't become cramped with homework. Lily joined him early than he expected, but she said it was hard to sleep. She wanted to give it a chance with James, which meant we had to wait for him to come down so she could talk to him. Remus laughed that it may take a while as he'd pranked the other boys before coming downstairs. This interested her, so they waited to witness the fun.

The first noise was Sirius screaming and yelling about his hair as someone stumbled down the stairs. James came into view as his glasses shifted and he slipped down the rest. Lily went to help him up with a light giggle, before bursting into hysteria when she looked up. Half of Sirius' hair was grey, and he looked absolutely infuriated. It was very funny. Remus joined Lily in her hysteria.

_"I didn't do it guys,_

_I promise it wasn't me._

_You know I tell no lies,_

_Someone else it must be."_

Peter trotted down the stairs looking livid. He raised his hand to his mouth, probably trying to stop his thoughts coming out as poems. Lily was in tears as she turned to Remus, who bowed dramatically as though he'd performed a great trick. James tried to feel him out with his hands stretched out, level with where his neck would be. It wasn't an activity Remus wanted to partake in, so he moved away. Sirius held his shoulders from behind so James could catch up and grab him.

"You are loads of fun, give it a week and you can join our club if you're not a prick," James laughed. "Now fix my glasses."

Remus did as he was told and allowed Lily to pull James off to the side. Not that he could step in, Sirius was demanding attention now. He wanted his hair fixed, so Remus pointed out he'd never known someone to talk of their hair like it was their child. Sirius regarded his hair with pride and defended that everyone has something they love more than other things. His was just his hair. Remus might have found it shallow, but Sirius just made it sound endearing. So he fixed his hair and ran his fingers through it. It looked like Sirius was about to say something, but James surprised them by hugging Remus from behind.

"Thank you, Remus. I've been longing for Lily for years, you show up for a day and she asks me out. It's a shame you're gay because you have skills with women. You are officially a Marauder."

Sirius grinned, and Peter's scowl lessened. Remus had forgotten about him and asked if he wanted his speech impediment fixed.

_"Yes please, friend,_

_It really is a bother._

_I want the rhymes to end._

_Play pranks on another."_

Remus tried not to laugh in the poor boy's face as he removed the charm. Peter thanked him, not rhyming at all. He visibly sagged with relief. It seemed strange to be so shy when he had befriended two boys who always drew attention. But Remus was too and he was part of whatever club they had. As this thoughts reminded him, he asked Sirius what James had meant about 'a Marauder'. Sirius explained they called their group of friends the Marauders. Lily excused herself into the conversation to say goodbye.

"James saying yes has given me enough courage to deal with a certain someone, so I'm gonna go find him."

She declined his offer to come with her, even asking Sirius to distract him while she left. Sirius took this literally, as he would. He explained that the Marauders stood for having fun with friends, pranking unsuspecting people and getting into all kinds of trouble. They lived a life of adventure, or as adventures as they could in the castle. He told Remus of their nicknames. James was Prong, Peter was Wormtail and he was Padfoot. He also promised to show him what the names meant another day, which added mystery and excitement to the idea of being a Marauder.

"I guess it's easy to say they're animal related," James sniggered, enjoying the private joke. "Any animal features Remus?"

They had no idea. But Remus wasn't ready to tell his friends that sticky secret yet, so he wanted to hide the meaning to a nickname as they did. He just needed to be smart about being vague. Werewolves were shapeshifters, men and wolves, so he could try to piece a meaning from that. Or go with something physical and literal, like furry. But then it struck him, a cute nickname that linked to his curse without giving it away if they didn't think too hard.

"Moony, it sounds good." James agreed.

"Gonna tell us what it has to do with anything though?" Sirius wasn't surprised by Remus shaking his head. "Fair enough."

Peter reminded them of the time and shooed them out of the Common Room. They reached the Great Hall before Lily, and she didn't show up during breakfast either. James assured she'd be okay and we'd see her in Potions just before lunch. His constant reassurance was the only thing that made Remus actually attend his first lesson. He'd seen the face of the boy Snape had spoken to yesterday, but he looked grim. Remus took that as a sign to mean Lily had seen her friend. But he vowed to wait, to let her work it out how she'd wanted to by herself, and support her when she came to him. However difficult he found it to not be beside his friend, regardless of how long they'd been friends. It was simple for him to understand. Dogs were loyal. 

* * *

She wasn't in lessons. She wasn't at lunch. Lily wasn't seen all day and Remus was getting anxious. Peter needed to be the voice of reason when James and Sirius found themselves in the same state. He just kept having to convince them she was studying in the library or something. If she wasn't okay, somebody would have said something. Dumbledore at least would know what was happening, or Professor McGonagall, they always knew when something was going on. It was very inconvenient most of the time. Remus agreed to wait until dinner, but if she didn't show up by then, then he'd let loose and find her. No way was he going to be held back if she didn't show up to the last opportunity to eat, that would have been too much.

But she was there. She sat at the Gryffindor table pushing food around her full plate, but nothing had actually been eaten. Remus rushed to her. Her sad green eyes were puffy and red, and lips quivered as she looked up. Remus sat with her and held her close. She explained that after Snape didn't take the news well, and after the things, he called her she was too upset to handle people. She'd gone back to her dorm and fallen asleep, so she'd only just woke up. It calmed Remus' nerves substantially. They started eating, but all the excitement of the day had turned their stomachs in knots. Remus offered to walk Lily back, and after the polite refusal so he could eat, she gave in and they left the boys at the table.

The evening only got worse when they turned into the entrance hall and the greasy bastard himself was there with his blood-purist friend from before. Regular or something. Snape tried to pull him in a different direction but it didn't help in the slightest after the other prick caught sight of Lily. He made a remark on her knowing her place as a mudblood and took out his wand. Snape stood by and did nothing.

"I wouldn't," Remus warned, equipping his wand as well. "You look like you spend your time trying to look pretty and being an asshole instead of learning fuck all."

The guy tried to shoot a hex, but Remus deflected it perfectly. This set a twitch to Regular's eye. Remus demanded an apology if he didn't want the fight to escalate. The other guy shot a bone-breaking curse his way and it was once again deflected, but Remus sent back a stinging hex just as quick. Too quick to be protected against. Snape moved to his friend before he fell back from the force and cried. Remus offered another opportunity for an apology, but the boy looked up and glared. Then his focus shifted behind the young wolf's shoulder.

"Brother, help me!"

Remus turned in confusion to his three friends as they came out. Sirius looked to the kid in Snape's arms and rolled his eyes. He came forward and asked Regulus what he was doing. Regulus accused Remus of attacking him for no reason and Sirius laughed. His friend turned to him and congratulated him attack his brother for whatever racist things he'd said, and applauded him on only pressing some people against the wall and yelling at them. Remus blushed but assured he was monogamous that way.

"Are you serious? You gonna stand with him after he attacked me."

Sirius chuckled. "Ironically, I am Sirius. An irony I've grown to love. And given I'm sure you were being a little prick to Lily, be lucky I didn't catch you, cos you can't hide behind mummy here."

Regulus just sneered our way and stormed away. Snape was looking back at Lily, but she just shook her head. She outed him for never sticking up for her as Remus did, never even trying to help. She walked away, the boys following her, and leaving Snape to watch with watery eyes.

"So that kid's your brother?" Remus frowned.

"He's an annoying little shit, but yeah he's my brother too. I can't blame him too much, my whole family are racist, blood-purist tight-wads."

"But not you. You're much better than that."

Sirius smirked, asking Remus what his family were like. It was a difficult subject because there wasn't much he could say without saying too much. But he told him how his parents had met, and how in love they were with each other even after the years. It was how he aspired to live. Sirius watched in wonder and agreed it sounded blissful. He wished Remus that happiness in life with his someone special. Remus offered the same wish, with the added optimism that their soulmates may not be too far away. Neither boy said much else, just carried on in comfortable quiet. But their arms were close together, fingers caressing but not linking. Held back by fear and the problem of time, they didn't hold hands. But they both wanted to. They both intended to when the dust settled.


	6. Chapter 6

Things were steady for the rest of the week. James and Lily didn't argue as much as one would assume they would. If her temper looked like it was going to rise, James would just kiss her cheek to calm her down. She'd be embarrassed and a little shy by the public display of affection. It was a joy for her friends to see her happy, and James was clearly overjoyed. Sirius teased him every night in the dorms, with Peter chuckling at the sides but not actually saying anything. It made Remus believe that he was almost an outsider with his friends, Remus fit in with them more than he did.

It was a week of humour and eye-fucking for Remus and Sirius. The young wolf was very attracted to the other boy, and their personalities just bounced with each other. Remus understood his sense of humour even when it went over the top, cos Remus just looked at him in disapproval and he cheekily apologised. Also, Sirius didn't seem to have a problem with Remus holding school as a top priority. As long as Sirius was 'a close second' for him. He was forward and presumptuous with his attraction, but Remus liked that. He hated any attention because of his scars, and with someone boisterous like Sirius, the attention goes elsewhere. Being close to the full moon, Remus was more possessive of Sirius and wanted to drag him off as his lover to mark his territory. It was nearly unbearable.

It was breakfast on Friday when things hit a bump. Peter was asking what everybody wanted to do this weekend and James was wishing it was Quidditch season so they had an excuse to throw a party. Remus foolishly let slip that his birthday was Sunday, and all hell broke loose. Lily was furious he was going to let it slip by unnoticed without at least letting her use a party as a birthday gift. She immediately turned to Alice to begin the planning, a girl who could transfigure paper into streamers and balloons. They decided we should party on Saturday rather than Sunday because having a hangover on Monday would be counter-productive for school.

Remus wanted to argue. Saturday night was the full moon, he couldn't go to the party after the sun started going down, and he was meeting Hagrid at 7 o'clock. He was screwed because he couldn't explain that to them, so he had no excused to stop their planning all day. The excitement was palpable among the Gryffindors. It bugged him that he'd need to escape his own birthday party, but he had no believable excuse not to go to his party.

"What do you want for your birthday then?" Sirius smirked on the way to their lesson.

"Nothing. That's the one point I insistent on. I don't want presents, I don't really want to celebrate, but Lily's acting like it's her birthday so I won't stop her."

By dinner, everything was planned. Lily was even whispering to Alice and Amelia about what gift Remus might like, which was infuriating. Nobody was listening to him. Even Sirius had his head bowed close to his other friends. He'd zoned out for all the planning, and he was tired of his birthday already. Being left out of everyone's conversation made Remus feel isolated, and he started to miss his basement bedroom where he could transform in peace once a month. He excused himself without waiting for anyone and was behind his bed curtains when the other boys entered the dorm room. He didn't usually hate his birthday, but having it on the weekend of a full moon just ensured he'd be frustrated and in pain all day.

He wanted to roll into bed with Sirius, smell his scent to improve his attitude, and couldn't keep his thoughts in check as he pulled his curtains apart. The other boys were in bed so he just pulled the other boy's bed curtains open and climbed in. Sirius turned to him in shock but didn't say anything as Remus closed the curtains again and cuddled into him. He smelt Sirius' neck, the strong scent of his blood burning Remus' nose. He felt his blood heat and his body relax as he embraced him. Werewolves are serious about mates, they don't just love sporadically, and it was overwhelming. All consuming. Normal people didn't love so quickly, so he knew Sirius wouldn't return it as he returned his embrace. But he wanted to work on it and having Sirius cuddle into him submissively fed his werewolves desire to claim him. But that would be for another time. It must be. 

* * *

For muggles, parties need to be prepared for early. Catering takes hours, decorating is laborious and needs to be started hours before the party starts, and it's very expensive. Wizards don't need to put so much effort into things. Lily got up early enough to grab Professor Dumbledore on his way to breakfast to ask for permission to host the party in the common room. She used his permission to ask the house-elves in the kitchen to cater food and used her relationship with James to convince him to sneak out procure something alcoholic for the older years. He returned before breakfast with a cask of firewhiskey and muggle vodka.

"I heard it tastes like absolute shit, but it's strong." He smirked.

Everything was set for the evening without anyone having to lift a finger. Lily insisted Remus leave everything with her, and she'd throw him the best party ever. Not that he really cared so much, but he smiled indulgently for her. Sirius had just blushed and smirked when they woke up that morning, making a comment on how he hadn't asked for Remus' company in his bed or the possessive spooning. But the blush deepened when Remus chuckled over the adorable submission in Sirius stance towards him and planted a peck on his heated cheek. He was crossing undrawn lines, but nothing bad was happening, so there didn't seem to be any harm done. In fact, he was half certain Sirius enjoyed it as much as he did. They just didn't talk about it.

Lily dragged Remus to the library to study since they were taking the night off to celebrate. She asked about Sirius, as James mentioned they woke up in the same bed. Remus explained the innocence of the situation. She didn't buy it or at least insisted that his feelings went deeper. He opened up that he could fall in love fast and hard, but he recognised that Sirius would need time to catch up to his feelings. Lily was worried. Falling in love quickly and completely could only lead Remus into pain, but he seemed in control of his thoughts and feelings like nobody she'd known before. It was like he could silently pine for Sirius to see him for the rest of their friendship. Though she hoped his love-life wouldn't be that tragic.

The party was in full swing by 5 o'clock. The food was flowing from the kitchens whenever it became needed, and the alcohol made it's way around steadily. Sirius handed him a glass of firewhiskey to warm him up for the start of the evening. He only had two hours before he 'was too tired' and snuck off to meet Hagrid, but he wanted to spend them with Sirius.

The noise of the room left talking to a minimal, but Sirius was all too happy to pull Remus onto the makeshift dancefloor. They danced close together, actually touching and grinding on each other at some points, but that might have been Padfoot's intention. He did most of the grinding. Something was different about being in a room where people weren't watching or capable of noticing them that dropped a barrier between the two. Homosexuality was all too excepted for wizards, nothing strange was happening.

"I kinda want a word, do you mind?" Sirius shouted beside Remus' ear, not that he fully needed to. The boy led the young wolf off the dancefloor and out of the crowd, moving them towards the stairway to their dorms. It was quieter on the stairs and silent in their room after a strongly placed silencing spell. It wasn't how Remus thought the night would go, an hour or so of dancing and being dragged to a bedroom, but Sirius' tense shoulder suggested maybe he wasn't looking for sex. Not that Remus would give in to that. Maybe. Giving into primal urges was a hazard this close to a full moon.

"James thought this was a bad idea, but after you crawling into my bed last night and us dancing just now, I wanted to talk to you. I know you'll think I'm crazy, because I think I'm crazy. But I've never been cared for before, and there's something about how we've been together, bouncing off each other. We just work. We fit together in a way I've never experienced before. I think it's love. I think I'm in love with you."


	7. Chapter 7

When Remus woke, he could feel pain all over his body, and couldn’t remember most of the night. He stayed where he was on the floor, curled on his side as memories of the previous night came back to him. Sirius knew about him now. Remus felt small tears escape his eyes as he realised that he’d lost the first person he’d ever loved, there was no way Sirius would still want him now he knew. Remus bitterly remembered Sirius’ admission of loving him before he knew.

After several minutes, Remus rose off the floor. His body sung with pain as he sat up, and noticed a few more scratches on his arms and legs. He puzzled over a few, seen as the claw marks looked different to the many he’d inflicted upon himself, thinner actually. Then he remembered Sirius became a dog and guessed they were from him. He couldn’t recall when he’d scratched him, or whether it was to defend himself or let out anger at not being told. He didn’t care if Sirius was angry with him because it would make avoiding him a little easier. That was Remus’ plan, to avoid Sirius and ignore the feelings he had for the boy, at least then the sting of his impending rejection wouldn’t be so bad.

Just after Remus pulled his shirt over his aching, standing body, he heard the door creak open. He smelt the sweet smell of fresh pancakes and bacon. He turned towards the smell with a smile, which turned to a small frown when he noticed the boy carrying them. Sirius walked fully in and closed the door behind himself, before turning back to Remus.

“Morning Moony, how’re you feeling?”

Remus said nothing, he just looked to the floor, trying to ignore how soft the black-haired boy’s voice was. When he didn’t get a reply, Sirius sighed. He walked over to Remus, tilting his head to face him with the hand that didn’t carry breakfast. Now it was closer, Remus noticed the scrambled egg and toast also on the plate. Sirius’ favourite. When he forced himself to look at Sirius, he saw the concern, and it pained him to look at.

“If you’re thinking I’m mad at you not telling me about you being a werewolf, I’m not. I get it.” Sirius smiled, “I know that you’re probably not allowed to tell anyone and that it must have been hard for you, but I don’t mind it, as you’ll know from last night I can handle myself.”

Remus shook his head slightly, “I don’t remember last night. When I turn into a werewolf, I can’t remember anything.”

Sirius asked why he wasn’t using the Wolfsbane Potion, but Remus explained how it had to be taken every day for a week before the full moon to have an effect, and he couldn't afford it. Sirius nodded, softly stroking one of the new scars, one of the different ones. He apologised, blaming his small dog brain for not understanding why Remus hadn’t told him but laughed that he was only a dog at the time. Remus nodded, trying not to involve himself in the mirth. Sirius couldn't love him now, and by acting like it was an average day showed Remus that he wanted someone to mess with.

“Look, what’s your problem?” Sirius frowned. “You haven’t been yourself since I told you I love you, if you don't feel the same then whatever, you don't need to be an ass.”

“No, I was happy after you said that, I feel exactly the same but thought it was too early to say anything,” Remus frowned, trying in vain to keep his tears at bay. Sirius looked utterly confused. “You don’t have to worry about me, or pity me or why ever you’re here, I understand that you can't love me now. Nobody can love a beast, you can move on, I know half the boys in our year want you to notice them.”

The confusion didn’t leave Sirius’ face, and he appeared to be thinking really hard over what Remus said. The brunette couldn’t stand being there, looking at the man he’d loved and lost. But he hadn’t lost him, because he never truly had him in the first place. As he attempted to leave the room, Sirius grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks, with a look of shocked realisation on his face.

“I know my confession was ruined, but don't belittle it. I wanted you to hear that I loved you from me, and for us to kiss and make love like they do in sappy romance novels that James used to read for tips on winning over Lily. Just because you're a werewolf doesn't mean you're a beast, and I love you regardless.”

Remus just shook his head, he’d had a rejection in his head too long to think different, it was too good to be true. He tried turning away again, but the other boy’s grip tightened. He tugged at it in frustration and found himself with his back against a wall with Sirius scowling at him. The other boy gripped Remus’ head between his hands, and brought their lips together in a deeply passionate kiss, running his tongue along Moony’s lower lip, asking for entrance. Remus couldn’t hold himself together as Sirius kissed him, opening up to him and wrapping his arms around his sweetheart.

When they pulled apart, desperate for air, Sirius rested his head against Remus’. “Please believe me Moony. I do love you, even if it’s crazy to say after such a short time, it’s true. This is love at first sight for me.”

Remus couldn’t hold his tears in any longer, and the floodgates really opened as he sobbed endlessly, and grabbed onto Sirius, gripping onto him for dear life. Sirius found his moist lips and placed a tender kiss on them, clutching his lover to his chest. They remained in each other’s arms, even as they broke their kiss and began panting. Remus looked into the dark-haired boy’s beautiful eyes, overwhelmed by his emotions, overpowered by his love. As he recalled the sweet few days they’d spent together, he realised how right Sirius was. _Love at first sight_. And now Remus wanted nothing more than to consummate their passionate love.

“I want you, Siri please,” Remus begged, breathing into the older boy’s ear. “Please, I want to make love to you. I want to claim you.”

Remus almost laughed at the way the other boy’s eyes widened, but before he had the chance he was being pulled flush against Sirius’ chest and into a passionate kiss. He felt Sirius moving their bodies, trying to keep their lips together, and leading them to the bed. They slumped onto the dusty, moth-eaten sheets, not caring about those unsubstantial things, and focusing on each other’s pleasure. Even after a night in control, the beast in Remus couldn’t be contained and caused him to crawl on top of Sirius’ body. He kissed along the older boy’s jaw, continuing down his neck, and leaving a bright love bite on the collarbone. He ripped into Sirius’ clothes, hearing the boy chuckle at his eagerness, and moan when Remus sucked on his peaky nipples. Continuing his torment down the body of the boy beneath him, he pulled the trousers down his legs, caressing his thighs with light kisses. Mere moments later, Remus had his lips around the shaft of his first love and was trying to swallow him whole.

“Remus please,” Sirius whimpered. “If you carry on like this, we won’t be able to make love.”

Remus nodded and fought against his urge to just carry on. He reached up and pushed his fingers in the other boy’s mouth, shocking him, but still getting his message across. _Suck_. When he thought they’d be moist enough, he removed his fingers from Sirius’ mouth and pressed the first against his ring of muscle. Sirius winced a little, but after another of Remus’ deepthroat motions, he relaxed and practically pulled the finger further in with a moan.

As Remus stretched him with three fingers, his lips still wrapped tightly around his lover’s member, Sirius was squirming on his fingers, using them to fuck himself. Sirius was ready. When his fingers were pulled out, Sirius whined at the loss and bit his lip when he felt the head of Remus’ cock against his ass. It was easier than he thought it’d be, mostly because he could feel Sirius trying to pulling him in deeper. Remus’ inner wolf wanted to move, seriously _move_ , but Remus stayed in control. He didn’t want this to seem like some meaningless screw, this was going to be full-on, stereotypical, and sweetly slow love-making.

He kept his pace steady, moving with determined slowness, making sure each thrust hit his beautiful boyfriend’s sweet spot. The boy under him became a moaning mess, and suddenly gripped onto his shaft and started to stroke in time to Remus’ thrusts. He was close to breaking point. Remus moved Sirius’ hand to take hold of the cock in front of him, and lead down close to Sirius’ ear.

“I love you so much,” Remus whispered, kissing Sirius as his hand moved faster.

It only took a few strokes to make the young Black find his release, the blushing boy’s asshole tensing and pulsating on the werewolf’s own cock, helping him find release as well. The two boys laid beside each other, cuddling in their post-coital bliss, thanking Merlin it was a Sunday. They agreed to come out as a couple, publicly, for everyone to see. Neither cared about the world’s opinion anymore, all they cared about was each other. It was the first time either of the boys had been in love, and they wanted it to be the last. 

* * *

 

"Hey, where's Remus? I managed to get his birthday present here in time."

Lily was confused but James was smirking into his parchment. He wrote nothing, but he wanted to make it look like he was being productive. It pleased Lily for him to look like he cared about his education. She asked if he knew something and his smug look didn't move.

"I promise Remus is fine, maybe better than fine."

Lily blushed. The implied meaning to that was enough to get an embarrassed reaction. Not that she minded very much. If that was really what was happening, then Remus had opened up about he felt and Sirius had reciprocated. They could be as happy as her and James. A smile graced her lips as she sat next to her boyfriend and cuddled into his side.

"I'm happy for them too. Hopefully they last, Sirius is smitten, it's new and nice to see." James laughed, "I hope they invite us to the wedding. We certainly will."

The blush remained, but she also smiled. Maybe they would get married one day. A couple kids. Lily wanted a boy first, a big brother to the other kids she had. Would Remus and Sirius have kids? She hopes so. A load of them. A whole litter of babies that she could be the godmother of, babysit all the time. Now that sounded like the future that wanted to be part of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. I'm not going to lie, I got a little bored of the story, had others brewing in my head that I didn't want to start until at least one ongoing story was finished, and I never intended for this to have a deep plot or anything so I mashed up so semblance of an ending and here it is really.


End file.
